I've got a problem. Many actually, but only one that I'm going to write about here on my blog.
It started a couple of weeks ago. I looked at Emma, like I always do, and said "I love you, Emma." She looked back at me, squarely in the eyes, and replied very matter-of-factly, "I DON'T love you."
Whoa. But I took it in stride. A one-off, if you will. Maybe she was having a bad day, or I did something to piss her off. Whatever. I wasn't overly concerned.
Couple of days later, same thing.
Now of course I'm obsessed. Every chance I get, I'm telling her that I love her. First off, because I do. Second, to hear her reply.
And it's always the same.
"I DON'T love you."
To make matters worse, every time she sees Jeff she makes a point of saying to him, "I love you, Daddy."
This has been happening several times a day now, for like I said, a couple of weeks.
A few days ago it got even worse...
"I miss you, Daddy."
Followed by, "I DON'T miss you, Mommy."
Then I started questioning her.
A: Emma, do you love Mommy?
E: No. I DON'T love you.
A: Does Mommy love Emma?
E: No.
A: Does Mommy love Michael?
E: Yes.
A: Does Daddy love Michael?
E: No.
A: Does Emma love Michael?
E: Yes.
You see where I'm going with this?
Now tell me... Just what the fuck am I supposed to do??? My kid hates me.
To make matters even worse, the past few days I've noticed she's been crying a fair bit. Not in the tantrum kind of way. That wouldn't bother me. But rather, if I go to feed Michael and I let her watch TV or something else, I come back and see her eyes all welled up. AGH!!! I ask her what's wrong, and she tells me she's sad.
This is absolutely killing me, and I don't know what to do about it.
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6 comments:
A late bit of sibling jealousy perhaps?
And she doesn't hate you. If she hated you she would say what Taylor said to me when she was two. "I hate you! I don't want to live with you! I want to live with Nanny!" 10 years later we are still rocky.
I don't know what to say, really. I think you just need to say "Well, I still love you." Not that she doesn't already know it, but reminders never hurt.
I assume she's just testing boundaries. At least she's not hitting you or Michael. But still, the words hurt.
OMG.. *hugs* It is so obvious she is just jealous and I guess that is understandable. I really don't have any advice seeing as I only have Randie but what I would try is a "You and Emma time".. Pick a time that is convenient for you and call it mommy and emma time.. Do some crafts or bake some cookies.. something that is just the two of you.. I think she would love that!
I'm surprised! The two of you spend a LOT of time together alone... without "the kid" to disrupt the bonding.
I think it's a testing phase.. not that I know about those things yet.. but I do remember many-a-times hearing how your life was better before I came along.. (yeah, it probably was, but you eventually warmed up to me... although, I think I was about 22 when it happened).
I agree with Emma in Canada - the "Well, I still love you." should work.
If not, you can send little Mik-new over my way. I might need some baby-practice.
Talk to her. Ask her why she says that to you. Tell her that it makes you sad and your eyes hurt when she says that. If you ask her the right questions she'll tell you.
BB
Gosh...I am so impressed with all the good advice from everyone.
Emma loves you and that much I do know.
Aunt Lisa
My two year old daughter pulls out that "I don't like you" card every now and then. It hurts my feelings, but I'm home with her all day, every day, so I can understand why she would think Daddy is the 'fun' one. It'll pass! Don't react.
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