The Colic Diet

Haven't you heard? It's the newest thing, the latest craze. The fastest way to lose weight, not to mention your mind. Just have a baby with colic. Have a child who is so repulsed by your breastmilk that his whole body contorts in pain after each & every feeding. And spends every minute in between feedings violently projectile vomiting all that he worked so hard to injest.

In an effort to not kill poor little Michael with my milk, I've decided to take action. Clearly the current system wasn't working for us. You know, the system where I eat.

As of four days ago, I have eliminated all dairy, wheat, soy, and eggs from my diet. What really sucks is that my usual lunch, my every single day lunch, is (errr, was) a sunnyside up egg on toast with a big glass of milk. It is now a peach. Followed by another. And a beer.