Ferberized! Or So I Thought.

As I know I've mentioned, Emma suddenly stopped being the perfect sleep-through-the-night child at nine months old. Being very used to six months of eight-hours-of-sleep-a-night, the new Emma was not a welcome addition to our family. After all, this is a family that greatly values sleep. We thought Emma understood. She fooled us, roped us in, got us attached, then one night woke up screaming at 1:00 am. Okay, it's just one night, I thought. Then again the next night. And the next. And so on... for the last three months. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

For the last three months, as soon as she would cry out in the middle of the night, I would high-tail it over to her room, pluck her out of her crib, give her a bottle of milk, and bring her upstairs to fall asleep with us. This actually would have been fine - if she would have just fallen asleep. But Nooooo, not Emma. Emma had to spend the next two hours trying to get comfortable. Rolling around, reaching for her milk, dumping it upside down, leaving white puddles all over our dark sheets. On the half glass full side of things, at least those puddles don't stain. But with all puddles, when you're trying to sleep, and you roll into a cold wet spot you're generally less than amused. When she finally would get into 'position', it was always the same - horizontal, with her ass in the air.

As I was saying, I had enough of this not-so-new routine. Time for a change. Time for the big-guns. Time for Dr. Richard Ferber. In a nutshell, "Ferber believes in a "progressive" approach to helping your child fall asleep and stay asleep. Briefly, he suggests that after a warm, loving pre-bedtime routine such as singing, rocking, or reading a book, you put your child to bed while she's still awake. Putting her to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully teaching her to go to sleep on her own.

Once you put her in bed, leave the room. If she cries, wait a certain amount of time before you check on her. (The suggested waiting time, which Ferber charts in his book, is based on how comfortable you are with the technique, how many days you've been using it, and how many times you've already checked on your baby that night.) When you do go back to her room, soothe her with your voice but don't pick her up, rock her, or feed her. Gradually increase the amount of time that passes between checks. After about one week, your infant will learn that crying earns nothing more than a brief check from you, and isn't worth the effort. She'll learn to fall asleep on her own, without your help."

About three weeks ago we started this process. I was doubtful that I'd be able to do it, to listen to little Em howl for me & ignore her pleas. But I was committed to at least trying... First night, I let her scream for about 3 minutes before I went in to soothe her back to sleep. But unlike what Dr. Ferber recommends, I did pick her up & rock her. Just for a couple minutes, until she calmed down, not until she actually fell back asleep. Next night, let her cry a little longer before going in. Ditto third, forth, & fifth nights. And I swear to God (or whomever you believe in), that by the end of the week little Em was sleeping through the night! (Even the 5:00 am wake-up started tappering off!)

I should mention here that that I am not to cruel a parent to have ever allowed Emma to have cried for more than 10 minutes. The Ferber method worked very well for us. None of this cry till she barfs crap over here. It was much smoother than I anticipated. Much like my labour. Have I told you lately how much I love my child?!

Two nights ago, my mother babysat Emma while we went out for Jeff's 40th birthday bash (Wow - I can't believe my husband is FORTY!) And because she's not Em's mom, she isn't as mean & heartless, and allowed the little one to fall asleep on her, while watching TV together (every time she put her in the crib and walked away, Emma would cry. What Bubbie B didn't realize is that's what Emma does!). Anyhow, she couldn't take the heat, and kept going in to get her. Fine by me, you're the sitter - I'm not going to tell you how to put my child to bed - do what you must, just keep sitting!

Since that night, Emma has resorted back to her old self. Waking up every night at 12:00 am and again at 5:00 am. And taking LONGER to fall back asleep than ever before. When I say longer than ever before, last night may have taken 11 minutes. tonight I'd guess eight.

Needless to say, I've been singing Dr. Ferber's praises all over town. His methodology allowed Jeff & I to sleep once again. And now, he's gone and changed his stance on the whole thing. Okay, not changed it... but softened it. And of course, now every one is jumping on the bandwagon.

Crap - Emma is crying again. Perhaps I'll read up on some of these new theories...