Hammer Head

Or, more accurately, "how I almost killed our daughter". Really. We almost didn't make it to month seven. More to the point, yesterday was an absolute nightmare.

Jeff & I were in last-minute cleaning mode before our brunch guests were set to arrive, guests we've never socialized with before, people entirely new to our lives. But really, that is so beside the point. While vaccuuming, I placed Emma on the carpeted area by the centre island in the kitchen, an area she likes cuz she call roll around and it's relatively soft. Okay, it's at least better than the hard wood & she didn't want to be in her ExerSaucer (TM). Well... I stupidly, let me repeat STUPIDLY, placed a hammer, yes a HAMMER, on top of the centre island to get it off the floor (can I at least blame Jeff for the hammer being on the floor in the first place?). I'm not too sure of exactly what happened next, but I think I hit the island with my hip and the hammer came crashing down on Emma. OH!! MY!! GOD!!!!!!!! I collapsed to the floor, not sure if it had hit her or not, although pretty positive it had not. BUT... yes, always a but, there was a mark above her eyebrow that was quickly going red (although not swollen). She, of course, was screaming. Jeff was screaming. I was screaming. Like I said, an absolute nightmare. We quickly piled into the car & headed to the hopsital (I called my guests to let them know of the situation & advised that we must reschedule brunch - not a good time for company).

Did you know that when you go to the E.R. and say a hammer fell on my daughter's head you get priority service? Well, you do. We were ushered in pronto. I should mention that by now Emma had completed calmed down & was doing her happy dance, laughing it up with all the nurses. She had actually calmed down before we even got into the car. I, however, was an absolutely mess. One nurse wouldn't give Emma back to me until I stopped crying! (Yeah - that wasn't happening anytime soon.)

Okay... to jump to the end of my saga, we saw the doctor (and many, many nurses - all of whom just wanted to play with my oh-so-happily curious baby - another adventure, yippee!) and he assured us all was just fine, not worried in the slightest, not going to take x-rays. Turns out the hammer hit the floor (just as I thought I saw), bounced up and oh-so-slightly grazed her forehead (see picture above). Barely a dent. We stayed for observation for an hour and were released. Home by 11:30, the exact time my brunch guests were scheduled to arrive.

The reason I'm telling the story is because Jeff made the mistake of telling one person. I'm now getting phone calls from concerned people all over the place - "How is Emma?" "Is there going to be any permanent damage?" "Did the hammer leave a scar?" "Do you want me to refer Emma to a specialist?" AGHHHH!!!!!! SHE'S FINE!!!!! (But should she be slow in math class, I'll suppose I'll be the one to blame.)

As a side note, after you drop a hammer on your kids' head, you can never again give your husband shit about leaving her in the middle of the bed for second while he's peeing without hearing "well, it's not as bad as dropping a hammer on her head". I'm gonna be hearing about his one for years. I almost, I said only almost, which he'd do something worse... but just so I can have one-up on him.