Getting To Know You...

IMG_1039
Originally uploaded by 2XA.

First impressions are everything, dontcha know. And, to be quite honest, my first impression of you was that you were, well, slimy. And purple. But other than that, you were absolutely adorable and perfect and everything I could have possibly hoped for. Plus you have my nose. You look EXACTLY like Emma, but with freakishly long toes and a weiner.

We're now officially on Day 12 of your new life. Your life outside... And so far I have this to report:

You seem to be Bam-Bam Rubble strong. Even Nurse Esther (who delivered you) commented that you actually have LEG MUSCLES. No shit, what with all the kicking you did for 10 months you really built them up. And here Dr. Brown doubted me when I told him I thought you bruised my ribs. You're also already trying to hold your head up. Relax little man, plenty of time to hold your own head up. Well, on second thought, the floppiness thing does get old pretty fast. Since you're working on it, perhaps you could give sitting a try while you're at it.

You sleep like a champ. Or more accurately, like your father. Minus the sleep apnea snoring. Very much like Emma, you're sleeping most of the day, waking up only to eat. Or complain that you're hungry, then you eat, then you go back to sleep. Life should always be so rough for you.

Speaking of being hungry, let me tell you - you're hungry ALL THE BLOODY TIME!!! And you're a boob man. No shit. While Emma had no clue what to do with my beasts when they were unleashed on her unsuspecting little head, you jumped on and wouldn't let go till you were good and ready. And you've continued this every 1.5-2 hours for the past twelve days, for 30-60 minutes each time. No wonder I'm a tad cranky.

Also very much like Emma, you're a barfer. And what with only being twelve days old, let me tell you, you're well on your way to being a Master Barfer. I believe a belt comes with the title.

You love being on your stomach, hate the bouncer-chair (especially when I put it on vibrate), and would be pleased as punch if I just held you all day long. You love being in the bath, but hate getting out of it. You hate getting your diaper changed, and can't stand wardrobe malfunctions. They happen far too often because, like I said, you're a barfer. You eat, you barf, you shit, you get a new outfit, I do another load of laundry. We already have a system. Only problem is I'm not so sure I like it.

We had your weiner snipped a few days ago. Lots of people came and watched, you got some nice gifts, then we had dinner. Unlike most people who do a 7:00 am bris, we held yours at dinner time. Get to know us now, we're NOT a morning family. Hopefully you'll fit in. You handled the whole procedure like the champ that you are... None too pleased at first, but as soon as you got the wine you were happy as could be. If not slightly drunk. As Jeff said, it looks like you have some Irish in you after all. Anyhow, now the little man is pretty and this will likely increase your odds of getting laid as a teenager. You're welcome.