Looking Back... Emma is 12 Months Old!

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Originally uploaded by 2XA.

Happy Birthday Little Big Girl! (That's Emma's Indian name.)

I can't believe it's been one full year since I was sitting on my couch, scarfing down an unexplainable craving of Kraft Dinner, watching that cheesy "Still Standing" show with that girl from Square Pegs - the one who didn't end up as famous as Sara Jessica Parker, when BAM - water everywhere. Did I just pee in my pants? Didn't think so, but wasn't sure nonetheless. After all, it was only the 1st of the month. Emma wasn't supposed to arrive until the 18th. And truth be told, I wasn't really expecting her till about the 25th. Bags weren't packed, Jeff was at the office, and Goodwill was scheduled to come at 8:00am the next morning to pick up boxes & boxes of unused cell phone crap.

After jumping (more like leaping) off the couch - I didn't know if amniotic fliud stains, and well, I quite like my couch - I ran upstairs to my office (which was still my office - hadn't even gotten around to clearing it out to make it Emma's bedroom yet). Before I had a chance to pick it up, the phone starting ringing... what timing. It was Lori - told her what I thought was happening & that I had to go. With a towel between my legs, soaking up the water surging out of me, I called Jeff, then the Goodwill lady. Had to cancel the truck.

And now... it's one year later.

Emma is totally into sharing. Clearly this kid is advanced. You give her a cracker, she tries to give the cracker to you. You feed her a kernal of corn, she feeds you a kernal of corn. Today she even shoved her bottle into the little boy's face who was sitting next to her in the 'story circle' at the library. If she ever gets into drugs, no doubt she'll be the pusher. I can see it now - "C'mon... just try it... just one toke... you'll like it..." Anyhow, this sharing game goes on and on and on... most especially with the phone. It's always for her, then for me, then for her.... this game can go on for HOURS!

Looks like Jeff & I are quite the enthusiastic drinkers. And while you're probably thinking "but of course you are... vodka is delicious", I mean enthusiastic in the purest sense of the word. Be it water, milk, or Raspberry Ice Crystal Light, we both seem to finish with a resounding "AHHHHH". And now so does Em. She grabs hold of her bottle, cocks her little head way back, has a few deep yet satisfying gulps, and straight from the gut... "AHHHHH". My God, it's absolutely adorable. Almost more fun than watching her do this, is watching other people's faces when they see her do this.

Emma's favourite musician is Jack Johnson. Seriously - we'll be in the car, I'll be driving, she'll be screaming her head off. Pop him in the CD player & wham - instant quiet! A big shout out to Aunt Lisa for the CD. (How gay am I?!)

I don't know where or how she grasped this one, but out of nowhere Emma does the full head shake "NOOO". Back & forth she'll swing her little head whenever she doesn't want something. It's quite rare that you can offer her something that she doesn't want, mind you, unless it's food. All food. Any food. How this kid has grown to where she's at is boggling my mind. I should probably be thankful... there's still a good chance she can wind up with the Rakowsky fat gene. And I guess that's as good as any segway into my next point..

Emma hates food. Last month she was keen on bananas, yogurt, corn, and infant cereal (provided it had mushed bananas in it). Then last week she did an about face on me and decided enough of the bananas. And one day later she instructed me to scrap the infant oatmeal. We're now down to yogurt. And milk. Lots & lots of milk. Then I read that too much milk is bad. Shit... my kid's entire daily diet consists of milk & two kiddie yogs, and a small handful of corn.

Then I surprised myself... I had always vowed to raise my kid to be a healthy eater (no offence mom, but unlike the crap I was fed growing up - no McDonald's filet o' fishes to satisfy the protein requirement for Emma). But then I was dealt a kid that any homeless person would easily strangle with their bare hands for any one of the four dinners I prepare nightly for her, and she rejects by throwing them overboard in hopes her invisible dog will come along and pick up the scraps. I named him Sparky. And now I succumbed to trying to get her to eat any old crap I think is kid-friendly - grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken fingers, spaghetti with tomato sauce... hates it, hates it, hates it. (Update: a couple of days ago I gave her macaroni with melted old cheddar and she seemed to quite like that. Mind you, the mini anorexic eats 6 noodles & I'm calling Jeff at the office to gush about the breakthrough.)

As of yesterday, Emma discovered true love. Purple grapes. The small hard ones. I suppose small & hard is better than the big & soft, no?

And with the love of the grape, came a new game - it goes a little something like this:
E: straight-faced, holds out hand to feed me a grape
A: I lean in to get it out of her hand with my mouth (hence the 'feeding' part)
E: pulls away hand and laughs hysterically at her own joke
And we can do this all night long. In the end, I figure I get about 4 grapes.

She is also a coy little thing. I'll be holding her (what else is new?), Jeff will come in the door after a long day at the office, ready for a proper Emma hug, she'll look right at him, flash a smile, then bury her head in my shoulder. Look back, smile, repeat. Not unlike shampooing your hair if you were following package directions.

Emma has starting standing on her own! That's right - she STANDS! So far she hasn't stood for more than say 30 seconds at a time (that's right, I'm timing it) before she falls flat on her ass, but some standing is better than no standing. And of course, still cruising all over the house - except now she'll walk though the hallway holding onto the wall - my kid is getting so old, she doesn't require the ottoman anymore.

Emma has started brushing her own teeth! I can legitimately say "teeth" when there's FOUR of them! And before you look at me all, "You let your kid brush her own teeth??" Yes, I do. But not to worry, I brush them as well. It started a few nights ago, after her bath she sat on the counter while I used the little rubber finger puppet brusher to scrub those perly whites. I guess she didn't think I was thorough enough because once I was done didn't she just grab the brusher & finish the job herself.

She loves the dishwasher. No, not doing the dishes (she is my daughter, don't you forget), but climbing in & out of it. Trying to get the dishes, the cups, the knives, you know.. the fun stuff. I've made a game of it - sharpest knife wins!

Emma is enrolled in two classes - swimming & music. Sadly, swimming may be over as I left my tankini (aka the fat girls' bikini) at the pool last week. In any case, when I signed up for this I thought Emma would have just loved it, what with having spent the entire summer at my mother's pool. The first day she cried the whole lesson. Mind you, the pool was freezing - I was close to tears myself. Bubbie B never lets her water get below 92. And that's the way we like it. It's gotten better since that first week, but of course Em never wants to do what the rest of the class is doing - when it's time to jump off the side, she'd rather be singing in the circle (that's her favourite), and she hates floating on her back... unless she's given a ball to kick - then she forgets she's floating on her back. The power of distraction. I'm learning quickly that's the best learning tool of all. (It also doesn't hurt when trying to shove a piece of chicken in an unsuspecting mouth.)

The other class - Musical Munchkins - was a hit from day one. It's just 30-minutes of singing in a circle. Except while all the other kids are sitting on their mothers laps, Emma is off sitting in the middle of the circle, or darting back & forth meeting the different boys in the group. Alexander kissed her & she smiled. Guess acting like a hussie who doesn't need her mother works.

The bath is still a huge hit - and now she's stepped it up a notch & is trying to blow bubbles! And 30% of the time she succeeds! (If I wanted to brag, I'd go so far as to say 50%, but I'm trying to be truthful - it is a blog, after all. Truth be told..) Most of the time she either licks or swallows the water, but every so often she blows like a trooper. I'm trying to teach her that when blowing, Jewish girls never swallow.

And lastly, "mama" was finally incorporated into Emma's vocabulary! I don't know (nor do I particularly care) if she even realizes she's talking about me! SHE SAYS MAMA!! (Or, more accurately, MAMAMAMAMAMAMA) I'll take what I can get.